Soft-hearted Meanie

I admit that I don't mind if my students think I'm mean. Of course, in my mind, nasty and unpredictable are different than mean. My current students who think I'm mean probably don't like the fact that I am rather strict about talking in my class and I don't give out all As. And I'm a strong believer in consequences rather than mercy.

But underneath my crusty shell, I'm really tender-hearted. For example, I spent the past weekend agonizing over what to do with two of my students who were talking during a test. Before every test I warn my classes that if they talk or whisper during a test, they'll get a zero. And I tell them not to even give the impression that they're talking. I have to admit that I've been a bit overzealous. Originally I gave a zero to a kid who yelled "Tom, your mom is here" in the middle of a test. Just before grades were due, I went back and excused the test since he probably wasn't cheating (Tom’s mom had just pulled up in front of the school). Then last Wednesday in the middle of a test, while I was answering a student's question, I heard talking behind me. When I confronted the student, who is a chatterbox, she admitted that she had been talking but she was only answering another student's question about the instructions on the test. When she told me who the other kid was, my heart sank. Student number one constantly talks throughout my class, which is why I recognized her voice, but student number two is extremely conscientious and respectful. In some ways, I don’t think their character should be part of the equation, but I also believe that students who constantly call attention to themselves by acting out run the risk that their teacher will be quicker to notice them. But, in an effort to be fair and because student number one had initiated the conversation, I took the tests away, agonizing all weekend over what would be the best solution. Finally, I decided to take the merciful route. After talking to them about the fact that their talking was technically grounds for a zero, I told them they could finish the test during lunch, which they did. I'm just glad I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Then today, I had another heart-rending incident with a student. Report cards were distributed at the end of the day and a student came rushing into my classroom, flustered and anxious over why he received an F in my class. He kept muttering, "this is not good." At first I wanted to take the harsh approach and give him some speech about how that’s the grade he deserves, but he seemed so upset that I couldn't scold him. Instead I told him we’d take a look at my grade book. When we looked up his grades, it became clear that his low grade was because of a missing paper, one he swears he turned in, but I have no record of. I only accept late work one day after it's due and several students ran into trouble when they missed school and didn't turn in assignments that were due while they were gone or they never bothered to find out what they missed. But, I feel so badly for him that if he brought in a copy of that paper, I might be willing to accept it and change his grade anyway.

Despite all this tenderness, there is one thing that hardens my heart almost immediately and that's the excuse, "everyone else was doing it." Students can tell me that they weren't talking or that I'm picking on them or accusing them unfairly, but students who try to justify their behavior with that excuse will discover a new side to the label of "mean teacher."